’31 Days of Horror’ Review – Knock Knock (2015)

by Nile Fortner

Remember When We All Thought Eli Roth Was Going to Be The Next Wes Craven?

Remember when us horror fans all thought writer, producer, and director Eli Roth (Cabin Fever, Hostel) was going to be the next Wes Craven (A Nightmare on Elm Street, Scream)? His early films, like ‘Cabin Fever’ and Hostel, were fun, scary, funny, and Eli Roth had an amazing start and career into the world of horror films.

Fast forward a few years, and I now have a love hate relationship with this person. ‘Aftershock’ was in my opinion a decent film the first time I saw it. After viewing eliit again, the film is not as good. It is pretty much the cast of the ‘Hangover’ in a very mediocre horror film. ‘The Green Inferno’, could have been so much more. However, from what he delivered, I thought once again it was just decent. I actually like Eli Roth, he is one of my favorite directors, and even reminds me of myself in a way. He is has proven himself to be knowledgeable in the horror department, and from interviews, he seems to have a passion for the art of film.

However, Knock Knock is one of the worst “horror” films I have seen in a long time. This is right up there with ‘Movie 43’, ‘Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip’, ‘Yoga Hosers’, and ‘Terminator: Genysys’ for one of the worst movies I have ever seen.

 Eli Roth was the master of horror at one point in his career. Now, he can make, star, write, and produce a movie and no one cares! With all due respect, what happened?!

Ever since 2012, Eli Roth has collaborated himself with the same cast and crew of people. I do not know if it is his partnership with Nicolas Lopez that has lead to his downfall, or Mr. Roth himself. ‘Aftershock’, ‘The Green Inferno’, ‘Knock Knock’, the remake of ‘Cabin Fever’, have all suffered horribly, and the positive ratings just get lower and lower. They actually cannot get any lower; the remake of ‘Cabin Fever’ still has a zero percent on ‘Rotten Tomatoes’. When ‘The Emoji Movie’ has a higher rating than you, I’m sure you eventually come to your senses that you are fucking up.

Knock Knock is the worst film he has done. If I were him, I would go back to my roots of film-making. I am not going to get deep into the plot, because it is not worth talking about.

The film is extremely poorly written, and the acting is atrocious, especially by Keanu Reeves. Thank God, he has redeemed himself straight after this with the last two ‘John Wick’ films. The young girls in the movie come off as annoying instead of horrifying, it is not scary, it is cheesy, and just bad. Instead of writing good material for Reeves that makes him interesting and or relatable, they take the easy  and lazy way out. We are suppose to like him because, he has a nice suburban home, and gets his family portraits done at the local Sears. He has many family pictures on the wall and the camera zooms through the interior of the house showing you more pictures of the family. It is father’s day and he is a father, we play sappy music, and from that we are suppose to like him/understand him? It is lazy to the max, badly written, and the filmmakers saying, “The audience will like him, because he has a family, and the viewer has a family too”.  If that was their mindset going in, then that is literally the laziest mindset going into any movie production I could imagine.

The film is not even scary, it’s annoying. The girls harass Reeves in the film, but they come off like junior high school girls picking on someone. All the annoying things that children do, is what these girls do throughout the whole damn movie. They jump up and down, scream, cry, and poke fun at Reeves’ character. The actress Ana de Armas was a good actress and she tried in the film with the bullshit material they were given.

I do not think this movie is worth viewing ever again. The movie is so bad, that we were literally laughing our butts off. The movie is on Hulu, because I guess that’s where all the really good movies go. Maybe that’s why ‘Terminator: Genysys is still on Hulu. I do not like ranting on movies and the talented hardworking people behind them, because I respect the art form. But this was the movie that made me lose some serious respect for Eli Roth. This is heartbreaking for me because he really was one of my favorite directors growing up and I hope he makes a really great flick again. His upcoming movie, the remake, reboot, whatever the hell of ‘Death Wish’ starring Bruce Willis, in my opinion, also looks like shit. I really hope Mr. Roth gets his shit together, because the last few films of his have been a disappointment. This is not worth viewing even on a bad movie night. This film could have been so much more; it could have been like ‘Hard Candy’s’ demonic cousin.

As I wrote earlier, Knock Knock is one of the worst “horror” films I have seen in a long time and one of the worst movies I have ever seen!

I am giving Knock Knock a 0 out of 5 Hairpieces! 

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