by Kevin Muller
Another year, another 365 days of films that both made me cringe and celebrate the art of movies. Let’s get the worst out of the way!
The Worst Films of 2022
Before I rip into this one, let me just say it was nice to see a non-franchise movie make the amount of money that this did. It shows that movies, specifically romantic comedies, can find an audience that is outside the 200-million-dollar spectacles. Let’s hope that the future romantic comedies can be a step above what we are given here. Now, as I always say, number 10 is reserved for a film that I didn’t hate, but one I was just disappointed in. Both Julia Roberts and George Clooney, masters of this genre, are completely sleepwalking through this movie. The entirety of it feels as if it’s on autopilot, with a script full of lame jokes, set ups, and lousy dialogue. Luckily, the tropical location and beautiful looking people distract the audience enough just to accept this mediocrity as it plays out.
9. Emancipation
This movie is all that Chris Rock needs to sleep at night. Smith is teamed with Antoine Faqua, who gave us 2001’s Training Day. Faqua can genuinely create stories of harsh realism, so this should’ve been the perfect story for him to tell. Unfortunately, the result is a mess. The cinematography saves it from being a complete disaster. There is nothing here that we haven’t seen done before in countless other movies in this genre. The harsh realism on slavery only works if there is a solid foundation surrounding it. There are big events an action sequences, but there is no emotional pull to make us appreciate it outside of the spectacle. Smith’s character is completely underwritten as well. The film doesn’t come alive until the final 30 minutes, where we are presented with something that would’ve been a far more interesting full-length film.
8. Amsterdam
At the start of every year, there are certain films that gain a following due to the size and quality of their cast, the crew behind the camera, and the power of the director. And every year one of those films results in showing that having all those accessories doesn’t mean it is a guaranteed home run. This bloated mess is brought to you by everyone’s favorite writer and director, David O. Russell. Now, for those of you who don’t know, that last sentence was sarcasm. The abusive and abrasive film maker gives us an interesting story about how dirty American politics can be. Russell has a unique style in both his writing and directing that shows that he can mix pathos and comedy quite well. This should’ve worked, but it doesn’t. This is totally on him because most of the cast is firing on multiple cylinders. Margot Robbie, Christian Bale, and John David Washington are all performing at full force, despite their characters feeling very one note and underwritten. It is all silliness that doesn’t go anywhere.
7. Blonde
Ana de Armas deserved her nomination for this horrible retelling of Marilyn Monroe’s life. Based upon the Pulitzer Prize winning novel, by Joyce Carol Oates, this rendition is ugly, pretentious, overlong, and puts the character and the actress through so much unnecessary trauma. Andrew Dominick, who wrote and directed this mess, has the subtlety of a sledgehammer. He presents us with very little insight, despite having a solid foundation. It seems he is more concerned with showing us a shallow version of what we’ve known… that the iconic star had a terrible life. There are times when you can hear De Armas’s accent slip through, but it isn’t a problem since her expressiveness is off the charts. They say the eyes are the windows into the soul. As Monroe, De Armas makes you feel the utter destruction and isolation of someone who is completely broken through her puppy dog eyes. It is a performance that should’ve had a stronger script behind it because de Armas is more than fully capable.
6. The Bubble
Topical humor is always something fun to look forward to, especially when you have a comedic veteran like Judd Apatow at the helm. The aim here was to do a satirical film about the lockdown and how the egotistical brood of Hollywood actors and actresses would respond to it. The groundwork is there, but the execution didn’t happen. Apatow’s movies shine through the dialogue and comedic edge that he injects into his films. Here, both those qualities are missing, and we are presented with a film that just feels corny. The performances range from mediocre to terrible. It is supposed to feel laughably chaotic but comes off as laughably lame.
5. Firestarter
For over 40 years, Hollywood has been milking the tit of Stephen King. There are countless short stories and novels that have been adapted and remade. Sometimes we get films like the original The Shining, The Green Mile, The Shawshank Redemption, or IT. Other times we get garbage like this film. This is a second attempt at the material too. Zac Efron, who I have commented on being a decent actor when given a chance, is bland and forgettable here as the father of the young Charlie, played by Ryan Kiera Strong. Strong, can convey the right amount of creepiness to make any part she plays sinister and evil; check out her stint on season 10 of American Horror Story. Here, she is good as the direction of the film, which lacks any suspense or scares. The only real highlight here is John Carpenter’s score, which is doing all the heavy lifting here.
4. Men
When I saw this one, a friend of mine had choked on a piece of popcorn, which made him leave the theater momentarily. He was fine, but after this one ended, he said, “I should’ve let the popcorn take me out.” I should’ve taken a piece from the bag too. Alex Garland has had an incredible streak over the past 20 years. He started out as a writer, penning 28 Days Later, and The Beach. Then in 2015, he started directing his own movies, with Ex-Machina, Annihilation, and the fantastic FX series Devs. With this new project he had Rory Kinnear and Jesse Buckley, two great actors, to help him achieve another success. While the two stars are good, the material is complete dogshit. The concept is interesting, which finds Buckley vacationing alone in the countryside while she is stalked by all the men in the village who look like Kinnear. The premise isn’t as clever as it thinks it is, as it goes nowhere but to an ending that is strange, weird, and totally out of touch with the rest of the film. It is a project that is high off its own fumes of bullshit. Garland has gone on record saying that he knew this one would strike out hard with the public. It is okay…every director has a miss.
At least it wasn’t as bad as the last one! It seems like all of Hollywood is into this idea that everything needs to be a franchise. This idea has backfired with many failed cinematic universes that have fizzled out. Author Michael Critchen wrote 2 books about resurrecting dinosaurs. The pull here is that they brought back the original cast, but that thrill quickly dissipates when you see them sleepwalking through these roles. You can see the money signs in their eyes. The action here is just like everything else in this film: unimaginative, dumb, and flaccid.
2. Black Adam
This is what happens when an actor’s sense of self-importance and ego steer a project. Dwayne Johnson manages to take a popular villain and make him, and the movie, a complete bore. For two hours we are just immersed in a green screen hell where lots of pretty things are shown to us, but it has no feeling to it. This doesn’t feel like a film, just a cut and paste of different films put together. It has no personality.
They had a chance to create something for the new generation to show how bad ass the character is. Instead, they replaced him with Corey. Michael Myers becomes a minor character in his own film. This would be okay if Corey was an interesting character. Nope, he is incredibly awful, annoying, and doesn’t have anywhere near the charisma of Myers. The entire picture feels as it is a practical joke.
The Best Films of 2022
10. Women Talking
Sarah Polley won Best Adapted Screenplay for this one. Even when I saw it at the Hampton’s Film Festival, I knew it was something special. There isn’t a bad performance in this film. Of course, Rooney Mara, Claire Foy, Jesse Buckley, Frances McDormand, and Ben Whinsaw, known actors amongst the cast, are fantastic, but everyone else is also up to par as well. The magic of Polley’s script comes from taking a mundane conversation and making it interesting, and more importantly, cinematic.
9. RRR/The Northman
Here are two spectacle films that show that when you have competent film makers special things can happen. RRR, a foreign film from India, pays respect to the country it is made in. The imagery is grand, the two heroes noble, and there is a kick ass dance sequence. The song accompanying that sequence rightfully won the Oscar for Best Song this year. Despite the ridiculousness of it all, the story is sold by the two leads, N.T. Rama Rao Jr. and Ram Charan, who can fight, dance, and look bad ass doing that and everything in between. Robert Eggers’s The Northman takes bold risks. The director started small and as he moved up through the system, he never lost his weird, but unique, vision that are now staples of his films. On his rooster, he has Alexander Sarsgaard, Ana Taylor Joy, Nicole Kidman, and countless others who dive into this vision and make the film stronger. His interpretation of the Norse world is ruthless, cold, heavenly, and everything that is missing in films with equal to higher budgets.
8. Glass Onion
Rian Johnson’s follow up to Knives Out, with Daniel Craig back as Benoit Blanc, is the very definition of a sequel. Everything is bigger, grander, and the stakes are larger. As with the original, Johnson has put together one hell of a cast with singer Janelle Monae giving a solid performance. It is a mystery that is as satirical as it is clever. Edward Norton, Batista, and Kate Hudson are standouts in a cast that are all good. It is Craig, who seemed to have been given an opportunity to expand the character, who is doing the heavy lifting. He is so much fun to watch. I, say, I wouldn’t mind a whole series built around Mr. Blanc and all his outlandish adventures. (Last sentence said in a southern drawl)
7. Nope
Jordon Peele is 3 for 3 and continues to show us that he is one of the most promising film makers to emerge in recent years. His gift of taking typical tropes then putting his personalized spin on it continues to work for the Oscar winner. There might’ve been some worry that with more cash, Peele may have lost his vision or would’ve become sloppy. Not here! With more money, it gives him more room to play. His impressive vision is full of mystery, horror, intrigue, and of course, some good laughs. Keke Palmer and Daniel Kaluuya are fantastic, with the former being a standout.
6. She Said
The sinister and ugliness of Harvey Weinstein is the basis for this journalism drama that is based entirely on truth. Weinstein was the power player in Hollywood for decades, but it took the work of two reporters, very well played by Carey Mulligan and Zoe Kazan, to expose the darkness that he kept hidden. He made and broke careers, mentally destroyed many, and took advantage of the power he had in Tinseltown. While most of this film is an engaging and detailed account of the work it took to take down the creepy titan, the performances are where it is at. While Mulligan and Kazan are reliably great, it is the actresses who portray the victims that elevates the movie to this level. Outside of Ashley Judd, who plays herself, these are all unknown women that twist the knife deeper into the viewer’s heart. They are all scared, broken, but have a glimmer of hope that these two reporters will succeed. Director Maria Schrader’s decision to keep those roles free of famous faces is one of the more brilliant choices in a film of many.
5. Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio
Del Toro brings his interpretation, and passion project, to life in the most beautiful way possible. He has stated that he is going to stay in the world of stop motion for the time being. If it means that he will bring us stuff like this…. Stay as long as you want, sir. There were times in this film where I forgot I was watching stop-motion and not a Pixar film. The fluid movements, lighting, and entire production I feel define the standard for future stop motion pictures. Though we know the tale, Del Toro injects humanity, heartbreak, humor, and so much love into this version. Plus, the original songs are catchy and elevate all those emotions.
4. Babylon
One of the bigger bombs of 2022, was also one of the best films of that year. Damien Chazelle swung for the fences with his 3-hour vision of the silent film era transitioning to “talkies.” Your tolerance for this film will be tested within the first chaotic hour, where you see drugs, nudity, and an animal defecate on a poor soul. Even the hijinks subside, Chazelle sustains that same high energy throughout the 160 minutes. Brad Pitt, Margot Robbie, Diego Calva, and a whole slew of other actors, keep our attention with performances that match their director’s vision. One of the more memorable scenes shows a film crew trying to figure out the usage of sound on a set. It doesn’t sound like much, but the movie is at an unrelenting force during this scene. Hats off to Justin Hurwitz who creates a memorable fast paced score to accompany the madness of screen. Some may view it as a mess, and while it isn’t perfect, it has balls and takes A LOT of swings. It is nice to see a film challenge the audience and make them feel something.
3. Everything Everywhere All at Once
The 2022 Academy Award Best Picture winner is truly a film of creativity come to life. Oscar winning directors “The Daniels,” took 10 years to write the script about a broken Asian family that is filtered through the multi-verse genre. Michelle Yeoh, who won Best Actress, is really something to behold here. She handles the character’s flaws and powers extremely well. It isn’t a surprise that she walked away with that trophy. While Jamie Lee Curtis, who won Best Supporting Actress, is having the time of her life, it is Stephanie Hsu, playing Yeoh’s conflicted daughter, who is up there with Yeoh. The Daniels use so many fun ways to showcase the relationship between Asian parents and their children. Some of what you see here will shock you. In my close to 30 years of watching the Oscars, it is one of the more outside the box Best Picture choices. Then there is Key Huy Quan, who plays Waymond. He is the source of the happiness in her life, while being the definition of a “peaceful warrior.” Quan nails the emotional parts of the part as well as all the insane stunts. This film isn’t for everyone, but if buy into it, it takes you on an incredible journey.
2. Pearl
Mia Goth was robbed of a Best Actress nomination for her role as the sadistic title character. This is the prequel to 2022’s X, which was more of a slasher film. Here, we still get the violence, but it is more of a tragedy that shows off the downfall of Pearl. Goth makes this unlovable character charismatic and interesting to watch. She is incredibly childlike. Her naivete is most likely due to her horrific and overbearing mother and being raised on a desolate farm. Her only escape is the movies. The love of Old Hollywood, present in the movie’s timeline, fuels her desire to be discovered, but also creates a dreamer with the heart of black. Sadly, we know that she never leaves the farm, or her mundane life, but it is still heartbreaking to see her succumb to her homicidal tendencies. Was she ever good in the first place? All is answered in an over 5 minute monologue, a one shot, that Goth nails. Writer and Director Ti West shoots this film in the same style as the films that Pearl loses herself in. It is a sadistic fairytale come to life. The final entry of West’s trilogy MaXXXine drops next year. Hopefully, we can round out his horror epic with a bang.
Before I reveal my personal pick for the Best Film of 2022, let’s see what landed number one over the last 29 years!
1993- Schindler’s List
1994- Pulp Fiction
1995- Seven
1996- Everyone Says I Love You
1997- Good Will Hunting
1998- The Truman Show
1999- American Beauty
2000- Traffic
2001- A.I.: Artificial Intelligence
2002- The Hours
2003- Mystic River
2004- Sideways
2005- Batman Begins
2006- United 93
2007- Hairspray
2008- Doubt
2009- Up in the Air
2010- Inception
2011- Hugo
2012- The Master
2013- Her
2014- A Most Violent Year
2015- Room
2016- Moonlight
2017- The Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
2018- Roma
2019- The Irishman
2020- Nomadland
2021- The Last Duel
2022……
Oscar winning director Bong Joon-ho, director of Parasite, said that if audiences were able to clear the short wall of reading subtitles, that they’d be introduced to so many more beautiful films. He is 100% right. Over the last decade, more and more international films are now stealing the show and knocking American audiences off their asses. Park Chan-Wook’s Decision to Leave, is a masterpiece in directing. It does all the other things as well, but the amount of visual storytelling here is a treat for the viewer. There are a bunch of unforgettable shots that both convey so much emotion and look incredible. Wook creates a world of mystery and desire all wrapped up in a beautiful package. The film does require work. It isn’t a film you can passively watch, but one that demands your attention. Wook doesn’t spoon feed his audience either. Even on my second watch, there were things that I missed.
Park Hae-Il is great as the insomniac detective who is trying to solve the case while falling for the femme fatale. That fatale is played by Tang Wei, who is just incredible, perfectly playing into the noir feel of this film. She is beautiful, seductive, broken, and mysterious. Additionally, she can convey so much with a look, stare, or a flirtatious glare. The scenes where the two characters interact are quiet but contain so much tension, lust, and emotion in them. Wook and his cinematographer. Kim-Ji-Yong, fill this bad boy with so much symbolism for you to deconstruct on your first, second, or third viewing. It is a film that keeps on giving and I can’t wait to watch it again. A true gem!
Cinephellas 